After yoga and meditation

Yes, after watching the Oprah show about our thoughts and wishes ultimately creating our realities I got to thinking. You know I want to make the best of my time here, this time around, on earth. I'm above all the petty stuff, if only I can learn to relax and trust the universe.

I need to let go of worry and concern. Because I already asked the universe to watch over me, protect me, and keep me safe. I ask please protect and keep my things working and safe. You know like my car, my refrigerator, my washer and dryer. Please? You see I need to save my money. I need at least a couple of trouble free, inexpensive years.

And if you read the previous entry, in yoga class I meditated this evening and asked the universe to make my life fun, fulfilling, loving and magical. I love magical days. And usually in sudden realization retrospect I realize that it was a truly magical day. Usually my magical days are sunny, wonderful, crisp, clear days filled with light heartiness.

I think it's exciting to know that I can think it, plan it, want it then leave it along, put it out of my mind and in no time at all. I'll get what I want.

I want to be magical. I want to walk past someone and feel their thoughts and worries. I know that sounds freakiest but. Oh well, here's an example. I am walking down the street very confident and youthfully cute and adorable when I see a young woman heading my way and I feel her thoughts; sense her thoughts about her realizing her boyfriend is untrustworthy..and I say "Forget about him". You think that would shock people? I'd come back with, "just a lucky guess" if need be.

Anyway, I want all of my days to be filled with magically happy moments touching people's lives. I want to be a "fill good", make 'em smile kind of person. I want to be very artistic, be it drawing, painting, sculpting, singing, playing my guitar or keyboard or piano accordion. I want to be good. Good and talent and cute and youthful doing it. Oh, a fast runner, and great, smooth and fast bicyclist too and ride, run and swim well into my 80's and beyond. There was just such a woman on Oprah this afternoon, Louis L Kay and she was 81. Very attractive! See you could tell she knew no age. She was too busy enjoying her life of writing and doing meditating, soul searching work shops. Also recently I saw a woman who was 92 that until recently did caving. She said her body got old but her spirit was very youthful. That must be hard to be a young spirit trapped in an old body. But I think you can wish that away. I know when I get to the point where I can't be active anymore I will be a wishing.

I came to another realization today and that is about the good doctor. I'll always love her because she saved my life. She was god to me. A goddess. I feel the universe has something yet in store that maybe this isn't over yet. No I don't think so. Because why did I fall so hard and for so long well after the deed was done. You see the good doctor was my catalyst to a huge life change. In the fall of 04 I ended a fifteen year relationship. Sometimes I miss it and it makes me cry and other times I know I need to be living alone to tap into my creative side. We are still very close friends and she has a wonderful, well suited partner and I'm seeing someone. So it all worked out. In the Spring of 05, I ditched my relationship with my so called "family". I spent time with my "real" gay family now made up of my priceless gay friends. At that same time, I moved from one state to another. I love where I live; so centralized and close to all my friends and activities. I dated a young woman and then got that out of my system. You see I tried to please society and church by trying to live a straight life. The sex was okay. I could respond, but I had nothing to give. Sex is wonderful with a woman; I'll never go back. I have so much to give. It's natural to me! Yes, I ditched religion too.

The good doctor will always be in my heart because falling for her sent me on a new path in my life. A journey I had to take. Funny, how we don't realize we are truly unhappy. Some people get sick when they need a life change - I fell in love. I realize now that subconsciously I planned it that way. Remember thoughts are powerful. So, I'm so excited about my next journey because I know it will be magical. I'm due to visit the Southwest; I've never been and I know it will be a life lesson of change, a true self discovery, artistic, creative, loving, sexual and life changing. I'm headed down a different path where I keep the old but tack on some things that are new. I can't wait for my adventure to begin. Hey, I know Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette are watching out over me. Hey, Edy and Georgette owe me. You see when my friend spoke of her loving friend, Edy. I knew that Edy was spirit and I found myself saying "She watches out over you". And another time when she spoke of Edy I found myself saying "I think she would like to speak with you". Yes, on two or more different ocassions I said that. It just popped in my head and out of my mouth. Guess who? Unbeknownist at the time to me, of course. Until I heard the tape then I pieced it all together. What a fabulous journey that was! And more is to come. See in retrospect I recall making very sound decisions and feeling that the days were magical. Little did I know that I was on a mission for Edy. Interesting? Fasinating!

So I'm planning my future as I write. Tonight at yoga while meditating I put myself in the universe's hands - to guide me. You see they (my friends in high places) had me on a previous mission and yes I delivered. I wrote about here, on this blog. How my mission was to befriend a new lover and evidently get her to see Ezekiel, a channeled spirit, where while there talking to him, Edy her decease in 2003 friend wants to talk to her. And in the course of the conversation my friend asked Edy if she see Georgette, her lover of 30 years? And Edy replies. "No, and I miss her". So my friend had to be there so Edy and Georgette could patch things up and reunite. I listened to tape and it was truly magical so I was glad to be a part of it. I think since 2003 (the year I retired) and since first going to speak with Ezekiel back in 1992 with my ex that this journey was in the making. I feel it. I know it. My ex says she had a hand in it because visiting and talking with Ezekiel was her idea (as she remembers it. I'll always love her too).

Time starts now. My magical life begins at this moment. Well, my life was always magical.. I merely tend to forget that even less now and I am more conscious of my spiritual, mental, powers. I want to put them to good use in helping others and having fun at doing it. I want to be exceptional, cute, active, very talented and very very youthful. I am ageless! Tall and straight; pretty and proud and in love with life.

We are living our thoughts...

Living "The Secret"! So many millions of people opened their doors to enhancing their lives by positive thought.

Now to go deeper into the Secret. "You can Heal your life" Louise Hay wrote the book 24 years ago. 20 years ago. She wrote it in six months and it was on the best seller list for six years. It totally changed her life. Her life began in her fifties. She is 81 and having fun...And looks very nice. She said life loves you and if you love life you get this wonderful things going. She was in her fifties when she heard someone say "if you change your thinking, you can change your life". She looks and acts like she is 60. Hm! I'm watching Oprah.

Martha Beck, "O" magazine writer, tells you why "the Secret" lists works or doesn't work.

Cheryl Richardson is a life coach..and very pretty. Agrees thought do affect our life.

Louise L. Hay has a new movie with Richard Dyer, Dr. Gay Hendricks, Start by doing affirmations says Cheryl Richard. Your thoughts create your life. I'm assuming the movie is also called "You Can Heal Your Life".

The law of attraction works by everything you think and speak goes out and comes back to you. Most of the time we talk negative. Not good! You must talk and think positive to get positive back. She teaches people to love themselves. Love yourself and life will flow.

Affirmation is like planting a seed...give it a chance to grow. It works but why? In February issue of "O" article called "The List". Says Martha Beck don't make the list shallow..go to
your core of peace and make the wish authentic..not shallow. Be confident when you make the list and then let it go and forget it. The "ring of fire" is what you have to go through to get to your core of peace. Example Martha was pregnant with a Down Syndrome baby. Her shallow said have an abortion. Her peace core said have ht ebaby. She had to go through her ring of fire of giving up her applied PH.D candidacy.

Cheryl Richardson, life coach, says, we have to give up material things. We are spiritual being on earth having a human experience. We need to raise our level of consciousness.

Oprah gets a bubble blower from Tiffany's. That is her spiritual level. She had the bubble blower all the time but didn't realize it until she decided to blow bubbles with her niece after having a bubble blower on the show.. then suddenly in her dressing room she finds the Tiffany's bubble blower.

Heather, a telephone, guest created a love list and put it away and after she was married for some time she found the list and her husband was all of the things she asked for. She believes in the power of her. Because she believed in herself. To make this work you have to be in a good place with yourself.

I think I am in a good place. I'm just a little scared of what I think about and what I think I want. I keep thinking about the good doctor. And it's funny how since Sept, 2004 she pops up every once in a while and I'm blessed to see her...even if not personal. I see her vision .. okay,, on TV. Someone once told me in 05 that I haven't see the last of her; that I'd see her again.

I can't help what is in my heart. I have these feelings for her. I don't know if we were together in a past life or what. All I know is that I think I feel it when she talks or thinks of me..I don't want to be self absorbed and think that she actually thinks of me. But about the time that I thought of her so strongly that she was on my mind when I awoke and went to sleep was the same time that my friend had gone to see her and she, the doctor, asked about me. My friend said that she was genuinely concerned about me.

Hey, all I know is my feelings are her are deep. I could feel her looking at me back in the Spring of 04. I thought about it 24/7. So, something is going on here and is bigger probably than both she or I. And this woman is brilliant. And then there is me.

"Finding your own North Star" A book by Martha Beck. Also we should have a vision book. Put your wants on the board and let it come true. One woman started to think differently. She said your feelings are the magnetics that pull your wishes and thoughts to you.

You should let things go. Those bad experiences of the past. You don't have to reconnect with a person or event in the past..just let it go.

Jenny Mccarthy is an example of how things work. She put going to the Oprah Show on her wish board after she wrote a book.

"Read " A new earth" by Eckhart Tolle then sign up for Oprah's on line class. Hm, guess I"ll have to get the book. I just ordered the book and another one by Eckhart Tolle.

"An awakening to our own spiritual power".... See, the power does lie within each and every one
of us. Consciousness brings energy into matter. Some qauntum physics come into play. For example if you keep thinking about the color blue pretty soon you notice all the blues around you. Another thing someone pointed out and that is, If you don't need anything, everything comes to you.

If you want something so much means that you haven't let it go. Damn! Now I have to let her go! Okay, I should want her and then surrender and let it go. Let her go.

Maybe women are more intuitive but it worked with Jim Kerry, actor, wrote himself a check for $10,000 and carried it in his wallet for five years. He had forgotten about it. Then low and behold he got the part in "Dumb and Dumber".

One thing for sure, you have to believe in knowing that it will work or it won't work. I think I'll concentrate and then forget that this TV screams commercials at me!

How does the law of attraction work if one partner is positive and her spouse is a doubter. He says he is cautious. Cheryl Richards said get paper and write three things down and then forget about them. Put that sticker note on the mirror and every time to see it.. say "I really love you, Joe". See how can tell this guys needs this badly...he about teared up. Usually the ones who are hurting the worse are the most doubtful and skeptical; my take on this. My take on everything. We tend to fight or hate what scared us most or what hurts us most.

I'm glad I have this love in my heart for "my" doctor. Or is it love for me? Is the love in my heart for her or me? Actually I think both of us. But thinking about her puts me in a calm place. I can feel her presence. I can feel her heart. I can feel in my heart how I felt on that day when are hearts were very close together and they ached.

I just ordered "A New Earth" Awakening to Your Life Purpose.. Starting March 3rd, 2008 Eckhart Tolle and Oprah will be teaching this free class on line. Every Monday night for 10 weeks. Reserve your seat in class and get your first assignment. I"m doing it.

I love life..

and I would venture to say it shows. I am most grateful that I can run half marathon... I've done two this week - on Sunday and again today.

I feel wonderful and youthful. I truly needed to get out there and run my ass off.. because I have been feeling lately that it has been growing. Anyway, the scale or the fit of my jeans do not lie. They are getting just a bit snug. I don't like that. So, no snacks in the evenings for me. Thank god the holiday are over.

Don't get me wrong.. the holiday were my best yet this year. I look forward to 2008 and the election in the fall. Did you watch the Iowa Caucus on CNN. No? Well the New Hampshire caucus is coming up on 1/8 so you have another chance. Catch CNN whenever you can and you'll stay up to date. Remember your vote counts so do your homework, listen and vote accordingly.

Wonderful LIfe

Life is mystical, magical and sex is wonderful! Does it get any better?

Life is filled with wonderful friends of plenty. I'm so blessed!

I am grateful for my many blessings of safety, monetary gifts, love, good health, the ability to love. And I'm falling asleep...really to dream.

I am delighted with life. The older I get the more, or rather, I finally realize that sex is very imortant in our lives.....and as kids we were taught it was extremely sinful. How dare the church! Hypocrites - past and present

A spirit soars....

There was a cell phone salesman on Oprah's show today who sang and brought people in the audience to tears. He brought me to tears. He was so natural...so in his niche.

He had no formal training but sang as a child when kids made fun of him. I guess it gave him comfort and purpose. He said that he felt that he was born to sing. I wish I felt that way about something. I envy that.

You know what I think? I think a passed opera singer spirit from a past life felt he died too soon and is shining his talents through this young man.

This spirit pass sent this young man a wonderful suportive spirit in the way of his wife who is the wind beneath his wings and supports his efforts fully. The young talent grave tribute to his wonderfully supportive wife. She believes wholeheartedly in him.

To sing is this young man's mission and it is why he feels so comfortable when he is singing. He has recording a CD but kept his cell phone sales day job although he has already sold a million CD around the world thanks to YOU TUBE on the internet.

I truly believe in spirits who are on the other side who act and speak through us. I believe this without a doubt. I believe too they have their own agenda and use our resources if we are open to it and agreeable. I remember the day when I offered my services. I guess I was feeling very grateful for all of my blessings that day.

I believe our energies connect with living spirits and with past spirits. I feel Ezekiel's presence. And I feel Edy Goodenoughs and Georgette's spirits and their presence. Although sometimes I feel that they are very busy having fun and living their own "past" lives. They are the spirits that were re-united after life when my friend went to speak to Ezekiel (a channeled spirit).

On her visit to Ezekiel he nailed her, then he asked if there was anyone she wished to speak to. She mentioned Edy and Edy was waiting right there. My friend asked if Edy was with Georgette and she replied. "No, and I miss her." Ezekiel asked my friend what Georgtte's last name was and when he said it...she was instantly there. Ezekiel said. "Oh, she comes fast." I have the tape and have lisitened to it more than once and I am amazed and feel blessed each time I listen to it that I was a part of this miracle reunion.

When I met my friend and she would speak fondly of Edy and say she missed her. I said. "I think she watches over you." I think I said that because Edy was speaking through me. Because all of a sudden the words came to me. You see when my friend told me of some things that Edy said, I knew that Edy believed in the after life. Another time when my friend spoke of Edy I said. "I bet she would like to speak to you." The idea kept nagging at me until my friend agreed and I made the appointment with the woman who channels Ezekiel.

I was so amazed when listening to the tape and so glad that I was a part of the re-uniting of Edy and Georgette. You see I think my friend had to get them together because at one point my friend came between them when she was remantically connected with Edy. Perhaps Georgette just needed a little nudge to come back..she said she had found a beautiful place and she called it Jamica. I thought that was pretty cute. I pictured them very young in the after life. My understanding about it is that you can be any age and look anyway you wish.

But now at times I feel at the cross roads and my sexual desire has deminished somewhat. I firmly believe that I was used as a guide, so to speak, and my purpose was to hook up with my friend so I could get her to Ezekiel. Edy had to use me because I believed in the afterlife and could get my friend there to speak with Ezekiel. In retrospect I can connect the confident times and times and places when I felt very confident with what I was doing..normally I'm not that confident but more wishy washy. In retrospect I am confident that I was truly on a spiritual mission.

I believe my mission may have begun back in the early 1990's when I first visited Ezekeil and believed in him. Edy passed in the fall of 03 and Georgette in the fall 0f 02. I split with my partner of fifteen years in the fall of 04. I remember telling my partner at the time..."It's bigger than both of us." Meaning that I had to move on. Even Ezekiel told me "that the time we were meant to be together had come to an end and we had different paths to travel." However, I still love my ex we were good friends and remain so living near one another.

I think life is mystical and magical. I love life and I want more magical moments. I believe magical moments happen all the time that we only need take the time to realize and truly appreciate them. I believe we are spirits visiting here on earth in the lives and bodies we planned to be in before we chose to vist life and earth. I believe we pre-planned our human lives to service specific purposes and missions here be it for others or ourselves.

I have another theory. I believe life and the existence of our energy, which never goes away but only takes on different forms, experienced past, present and future all at the same time. We just don't realize that it is all happening at once. "Spiritual multitasking" I call it.

Now, I want to feel fullfilled once again. I wish to feel sound and whole! I want to be satisficied and extremely happy..even if nothing has changed in my life... I just want to feel that way. I want to feel loved and in love. I want to be sexually fullfilled, satisfied for I lost that after the re-uniting. I want to feel confident and as sure of myself as I did when I was completing the tasks that led me on my mission to re-unite my friend with her friend passed and the spiritual re-uniting of Edy and Georgette.

So I ask them now for that favor. I want purpose and fullfillment now in my life. I want to feel the estatic excitement of love with another woman. You see, I missed all that in this life as I was born too soon in a strick religious, cold, angry environment. I want to feel comfortable with my mission whatever it is. And of course I want to feel in love and very happy and satisfied and comfortable with her, the love my life. She'll be perfect for me, I know. I want to feel that we are two spirits uniting. I'm not feeling that now. I am feeling distance. I am feeling that it is forced and I am trying to get my sexual satisfaction back....now after the mission has been completed.

I need these three spirits and my spirit guides to send the right love connection spirit to me - in this life yet. I still have time and lots to offer. I am very attractive, loving and full of active life and sexual desire. So I beseech my spirit friends and ask they give me a boost.

There was another magical moment on the Oprah show...that adorable English bull dog who skate boarded. His master said he was self-taught. You could see the dog loved the skate board as he carried it off in his mouth, threw it down pedaled and then proudly hopped on and rode like the wing. I wanted to take me home with me. Another free spirit? Was he once a boy who skate boarded and was robbed of his youth by accident or illness then death. Only to wanted to rush back to skate board. I believe it. I love it!

And now I just finished watching Lisa Williams. She communicates with pasted spirits. In one insistent ten years ago a woman lost her six year old son who was hit by a car. He tells her through Lisa that he is coming back as her grandbaby. The woman's daughter is pregnant.

So see....and why did that woman go to talk to Lisa Williams. There are times too where Lisa finds herself on the street and stoping people to talk to them when spirits and put Lisa and particular persons together in the same place so they can indeed communicate.

Life and the after life are so amazing. I am so glad to be so aware of these things and I am learning more all the time. Thank you universe.

And while I'm at it, thank you universe for all of my many blessings of material safety and things...please keep everything working well. I truly appreciate it. Please take care of my friends and loves ones. I thank you for them in case they forget. Send me love, warm precious, love, blond and feminine and she comes to me....she wants me. She wants a relationship that shines and she is very special and we communicate beautifully. I feel her presence already.

Life is....

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Life is so...
Sunday, October 21, 2007Life is....mystical and magical and wonderful. She remembered me. The good doctor remembered me. She saved my life back then...she heals me when I think of her. I fell in love with her and my life changed. I still think she probably just thinks I'm weird. I hope not! She will forever be in my heart!She remembered from three years ago. Her busy life. Her busy schedule...all the really important things she does...yet she remembered and asked and was concerned. I will love her forever. She remembered. I am so impressed! What doctor would remember or even bother. I love her very much.I knew that there was something very extraordinary about her when I met her. Now SHE is god! She is about the warmest, loving, most caring person I believe that I have ever met.My heart ached in her arms. Her heart hurt! There was just this wonderful spiritual and magical connection that I don't think will ever fab.What a wonderful person she is...

Universe..please always watch over her and love and protect her

Feeling Abandoned

by my "special" spiritual guides who had me on a special mission.

The mission is over...they have been reunited. I got my friend there to speak with Ezekiel to help bring them together. Now I'm without spiritual purpose and feeling rather abandoned. As the mission was going on for the past three years I felt purpose, positive, and confident. Now I feel lost. My art was also a mystical part of the journey. Now that the journey is over...I feel empty and miss feeling that special "purpose" of a mission.

I prefer a spiritual purpose that would involve and evolve me into a loving sexual partnered relationship. Guess I"m feeling lonely and without a "daily based relationship". Mine are in bits and pieces.

Well, I am open to another fun reuniting mission. I could find someone special along the way again.....