After yoga and meditation

Yes, after watching the Oprah show about our thoughts and wishes ultimately creating our realities I got to thinking. You know I want to make the best of my time here, this time around, on earth. I'm above all the petty stuff, if only I can learn to relax and trust the universe.

I need to let go of worry and concern. Because I already asked the universe to watch over me, protect me, and keep me safe. I ask please protect and keep my things working and safe. You know like my car, my refrigerator, my washer and dryer. Please? You see I need to save my money. I need at least a couple of trouble free, inexpensive years.

And if you read the previous entry, in yoga class I meditated this evening and asked the universe to make my life fun, fulfilling, loving and magical. I love magical days. And usually in sudden realization retrospect I realize that it was a truly magical day. Usually my magical days are sunny, wonderful, crisp, clear days filled with light heartiness.

I think it's exciting to know that I can think it, plan it, want it then leave it along, put it out of my mind and in no time at all. I'll get what I want.

I want to be magical. I want to walk past someone and feel their thoughts and worries. I know that sounds freakiest but. Oh well, here's an example. I am walking down the street very confident and youthfully cute and adorable when I see a young woman heading my way and I feel her thoughts; sense her thoughts about her realizing her boyfriend is untrustworthy..and I say "Forget about him". You think that would shock people? I'd come back with, "just a lucky guess" if need be.

Anyway, I want all of my days to be filled with magically happy moments touching people's lives. I want to be a "fill good", make 'em smile kind of person. I want to be very artistic, be it drawing, painting, sculpting, singing, playing my guitar or keyboard or piano accordion. I want to be good. Good and talent and cute and youthful doing it. Oh, a fast runner, and great, smooth and fast bicyclist too and ride, run and swim well into my 80's and beyond. There was just such a woman on Oprah this afternoon, Louis L Kay and she was 81. Very attractive! See you could tell she knew no age. She was too busy enjoying her life of writing and doing meditating, soul searching work shops. Also recently I saw a woman who was 92 that until recently did caving. She said her body got old but her spirit was very youthful. That must be hard to be a young spirit trapped in an old body. But I think you can wish that away. I know when I get to the point where I can't be active anymore I will be a wishing.

I came to another realization today and that is about the good doctor. I'll always love her because she saved my life. She was god to me. A goddess. I feel the universe has something yet in store that maybe this isn't over yet. No I don't think so. Because why did I fall so hard and for so long well after the deed was done. You see the good doctor was my catalyst to a huge life change. In the fall of 04 I ended a fifteen year relationship. Sometimes I miss it and it makes me cry and other times I know I need to be living alone to tap into my creative side. We are still very close friends and she has a wonderful, well suited partner and I'm seeing someone. So it all worked out. In the Spring of 05, I ditched my relationship with my so called "family". I spent time with my "real" gay family now made up of my priceless gay friends. At that same time, I moved from one state to another. I love where I live; so centralized and close to all my friends and activities. I dated a young woman and then got that out of my system. You see I tried to please society and church by trying to live a straight life. The sex was okay. I could respond, but I had nothing to give. Sex is wonderful with a woman; I'll never go back. I have so much to give. It's natural to me! Yes, I ditched religion too.

The good doctor will always be in my heart because falling for her sent me on a new path in my life. A journey I had to take. Funny, how we don't realize we are truly unhappy. Some people get sick when they need a life change - I fell in love. I realize now that subconsciously I planned it that way. Remember thoughts are powerful. So, I'm so excited about my next journey because I know it will be magical. I'm due to visit the Southwest; I've never been and I know it will be a life lesson of change, a true self discovery, artistic, creative, loving, sexual and life changing. I'm headed down a different path where I keep the old but tack on some things that are new. I can't wait for my adventure to begin. Hey, I know Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette are watching out over me. Hey, Edy and Georgette owe me. You see when my friend spoke of her loving friend, Edy. I knew that Edy was spirit and I found myself saying "She watches out over you". And another time when she spoke of Edy I found myself saying "I think she would like to speak with you". Yes, on two or more different ocassions I said that. It just popped in my head and out of my mouth. Guess who? Unbeknownist at the time to me, of course. Until I heard the tape then I pieced it all together. What a fabulous journey that was! And more is to come. See in retrospect I recall making very sound decisions and feeling that the days were magical. Little did I know that I was on a mission for Edy. Interesting? Fasinating!

So I'm planning my future as I write. Tonight at yoga while meditating I put myself in the universe's hands - to guide me. You see they (my friends in high places) had me on a previous mission and yes I delivered. I wrote about here, on this blog. How my mission was to befriend a new lover and evidently get her to see Ezekiel, a channeled spirit, where while there talking to him, Edy her decease in 2003 friend wants to talk to her. And in the course of the conversation my friend asked Edy if she see Georgette, her lover of 30 years? And Edy replies. "No, and I miss her". So my friend had to be there so Edy and Georgette could patch things up and reunite. I listened to tape and it was truly magical so I was glad to be a part of it. I think since 2003 (the year I retired) and since first going to speak with Ezekiel back in 1992 with my ex that this journey was in the making. I feel it. I know it. My ex says she had a hand in it because visiting and talking with Ezekiel was her idea (as she remembers it. I'll always love her too).

Time starts now. My magical life begins at this moment. Well, my life was always magical.. I merely tend to forget that even less now and I am more conscious of my spiritual, mental, powers. I want to put them to good use in helping others and having fun at doing it. I want to be exceptional, cute, active, very talented and very very youthful. I am ageless! Tall and straight; pretty and proud and in love with life.